How long are you supposed to let your baby cry for? I feel so exhausted all the time especially since at night I not only feed and change the baby but I also have to pump. Marek has a hard time sleeping in his bassinet because he just wants to be held or fall asleep with me. I don't want that to become a habit and I want him to sleep really good so he can start sleeping through the night! SO, I have read some of that Baby Wise book everyone raves about. Anyway, I pretty much already had him on the feeding every 3 hour schedule but the thing I had been doing wrong is rocking him to sleep, letting him fall asleep with a 'prop' (swing) and letting him fall asleep with me. Apparently you aren't supposed to let them fall asleep in your arms or with a prop. You are supposed to feed them, have a little wake time with them, and then put them in their cribs while they are still awake and let them fall asleep on their own. K** So I did that. He balled and balled and screamed forever. They said in the book that it is okay to let them cry for 15 min. So I did. He screamed for 15 min. and then I went in his room and put his binky in his mouth. That made him quiet for 5 min. until the binky fell out and he cried again for another 15 min. Then I put the binky in again and he cried again. So I finally picked him up. He was wide awake and didn't go back to bed. I fed him again and of course he was tired so I put him to bed. Same thing. CRY CRY CRY. I feel so bad for him! I let him cry though. Then finally I couldn't take it anymore cuz OBVIOUSLY he wasn't going to fall asleep and I had let him cry way too much, right? So I picked him up. He was wide awake...cuz he calms down when I pick him up and then he refuses to sleep cuz I think he knows I will put him back down. I took one more chance and put him to bed again. He cried for 5 min. and then stopped. He was wide awake for 10-15 min., being silent, then fell asleep. So it took 4 1/2 hours of him eating, crying and being awake before he went to sleep again. Am I doing something wrong? How do I get him to go to bed and fall asleep without crying for 45 min? Am I supposed to let him cry that long anyway? It seems so mean, especially when he is so little. I can see 15 min. but 45? Baby Wise hasn't solved this problem for me. Any suggestions? Sorry I told all the details...I had to vent a little bit, too ;) And I know I am slacking on the blog, no updated pics...but it's cuz I am so tired! You understand... :)
{Halloween 2018}
7 years ago
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10 comments:
I totally feel your pain!! I've read the BabyWise book...and personally think its a great approach for some...however it NEVER worked for me either! I guess I'm too much of a softy for little babies...I pretty much cater to their every want for at least the first 3 months...guess I just went with the theory that "you can't spoil a baby." Also...I basically did any and every thing that gave ME as much rest as possible. So yeah...two of my three babies slept in my arms each night! Totally a "no-no" but totally worked for me!!! And...if it gives you hope...all of my kids were sleeping through the night between 3-5 months old.
Ya, the book wasn't for me either -come to think of it none were...I really got sick of reading everyone's "theories" of correct ways to raise your children. I still struggle letting Abrielle cry, its normal -it means you love them ;)
Honestly, one of the most consistent things I do now is pray. Pray for the guidance to know what my child needs. I remember feeling so helpless, wishing she could tell me if she was in pain, or if I could get her something.
I started noticing a difference in how I reacted to situations. Not that I felt at peace while she cried, but that I knew that what I was doing was okay, that she would be okay...sometimes I have felt prompted to call the pediatrician, and at times I go off of my mothers advise.
I think books are great for giving ideas and suggestions....
But, your the mom, and even though you my not feel adequate in judgment right now?, you and only you can take care of him the way he needs....
First of all, congrats! Marek is adorable! I just wanted to tell you I totally followed babywise like to the letter...I also had a baby who just naturally was a good sleeper, but I don't think you are doing anything wrong..it sucks listening to them cry, when you know if you just hold them or feed them, it will stop... Next time around, I totally will do the feedtime/waketime/ sleeptime routine, because it works, but I wouldn't be so strict.. The time goes by wayy too fast, so if you want to snuggle with your little one, go ahead and do it.. By the time he's a few months older, that is the time to really establish the routine, I think..But for now, just enjoy!!!Congrats!
I agree with the others. I would just enjoy him right now while he is so little. I never tried to put any of my kids on a schedule until they were a little bit older. I agree with Natalie - go with your instincts - that is the best way to go. :o) You are awesome!
I agree with everyone else. The babywise stuff works sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. I tried it with Madeline and at first it didn't work...how do you keep a newborn awake after feeding? Beats me! Madeline is a good sleeper at night, but I still rock her to sleep. I do it mainly because I love doing it. Anyway, she didn't start sleeping through the night until after two months. Don't worry, he'll get on a schedule soon. I know that for me it helps that we have a routine that we stick to so she knows when it is time for bed. You're doing great! Let me know if you want me to come and watch him so you can take a nap! I definitely agree with Natalie, pray about it. You will know what to do.
Baby Wise did wonders for Morgan, but it didn't work for my neice at all. Every baby is different. I think the book says not to start the Baby Wise program until they are at least 2 weeks old. I didn't start until Morgan was almost 2 months. And I cried every time I had to leave her in her room crying. It was so hard. But the first 2 months I had to hold her all day and I had to rock her to sleep at night. It will get better. Maybe forget the baby wise thing for now and try again when he's a little older? I don't know. Hang in there. I understand about the pumping/feeding/rocking/ in the middle of the night. Its so rough. But you're doing great!
I don't have much to add because everyone covered everything I was thinking. Just have hope that one day soon you are going to understand Marek's cries and get a better handle on what to do for what cry. Listen to your intuition and the Spirit and go with it; I've regretted every time I haven't. Also, hold that little boy as much as you can because you can't get this time back. It's important to find that fine line where you are taking care of Marek and taking care of yourself. Just from your concern, I can tell you are already an excellent mother.
I don't know if you know me, I am Ryan Jacox wife, Sierra. It is crazy that you posted this today, because someone else I know posted about the same thing and what she did to fix the problem. You can check out her post at http://heatherandjefftelford.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-son.html --hopefully it helps you!
Little Marek is so precious! He looks so grown up already in his pictures! As for the spoiling baby thing, I think it's totally okay for the first few months. Enjoy it while you can, because he will not stay this little for long!
I used BabyWise on Parker and it worked great and then Dallin was the picture perfect BabyWise baby. Every baby is different. They all require different ways of caring for. While mine worked on BabyWise, my neices and nephews didn't. You are truly doing a great job. I agree with Natalie. Listen to your intuition and the Spirit. Mine didn't sleep through the night until 2 months. But all babies are different. I don't however agree with "spoiling a baby". After visiting family in Texas Dallin wanted to be held all the time because he was held all the time for the month that I was out there. I had to retrain him to our schedule. I like my schedule because it helps keep me sane and lets me know what times I can go do things. I work around their schedule. As they get older, they tend to be awake more during the day and sleep more at night. Don't ever compare your baby to someone else's. It's not right! All babies are different! They grow at different rates and learn to sleep through the night at different times. As long as they are healthy that's all that matters.
As for you, you are doing a great job. I know it's hard the first few months and you hardly get any sleep but trust me it gets better. If you ever need a break, you let me know! I can be there in a flash.
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